[almost] scared to death

i was really scared tonight. i'm often afraid of things like not finishing a big project, flubbing up on a presentation or test, messing up my relationships...stuff like that. but tonight, i was afraid that i wouldn't be able to take another breath. i can't say i thought i was going to die...just that i didn't know when the next breath would come.

we were eating and heather said something funny as i was taking a drink. i could have swallowed it right away, but thought i could laugh a bit and then swallow. then i realized i couldn't. the next thing i knew, i had puked up my yummy supper into my hands and the table. every time i thought i could take a breath (or my body was desparately attempting to take one), i inhaled more and more, but couldn't exhale. i mouthed to ardith that i couldn't breathe. i don't remember the first breathe, just that it was a huge relief.