today was horrible and i am not sure why.

there were even a few really good things that happened today. i got to do two hours of mindless work (and got paid for it too!) and then got a wonderful backrub. in the evening i was studying in the apts and had the chance to talk to a friend i don't see very much. she was telling me about her mission trip - the friends she made, the stuff she did, and then about how she really struggled with her pride while there. i know that most people struggle with this, but i would never have thought she was one of them. interestingly enough, i dealt with alot of pride issues while on my mission trip. i am not saying that i am glad she struggled with this, but it was nice to hear that i am not alone.

then i talked to some more people i hadn't seen much of lately. i felt like the conversation should have been refreshing and reassuring because of what was discussed. but i left feeling mad at the world and not knowing why. right now, i'd rather be back at hcjb, frustrating as it was (there might be more on that later - we'll see). it was fun and all, but wasn't restful in any way. maybe it's that i don't feel like i had a break. or maybe it's that everyone else came back with so many stories about how God had worked in their lives and those around them. i heard alot about how God was working around the world while at hcjb, but didn't directly see anything (though perhaps my eyes werent focused on the right things).

maybe things will seem totally different after some sleep. night all.