Holding onto bitterness is like drinking poisen and expecting the other person to die. --James Arthur Ray on Oprah, 2/16/2007

this quote sums up what i've thought of my parents since their divorce in 2000. i've been so angry at them for so many things and hoped they would suffer by knowing what i thought of them (though i never communicated this anger).

dad responded by being eager to talk with me and sending small nudges to test the waters when i didn't come to him first. he told me over christmas that it doesn't pay to be bitter -- just get over it and move on. he made it sound so simple, but that's exactly what he does. he realizes he can't do anything about how the other person feels, so he does what he can to let the person know he's willing to talk and then stops worrying about it.

mom responded with bitterness, blaming, and victimization.

guess which parent i gravitate towards now? o, how life has changed in the last 1.5 years...

now turning the tables on me, i realized last week that i've rarely felt the pain from their divorce. i've been too wrapped up in the anger and resentment, which is slowly being worked through. now some of the pain is coming through. i now have God and people in my life to help me through this, so hopefully i won't ping-pong between anger/bitterness and distracting myself from thinking about it like i usually do.