eureka! :-\

i spent the long weekend at Becky's house while she and her brother were hiking. so her mom and i got to spend a lot of time together! we drove around rocky mountain nat'l park and went to see cars, but other than that we just relaxed and had lots of good conversation.

throughout these conversations and, interesting enough, a businessweek that Becky had setting out, i finally came to a realization to explain my behavior in a wide range of circumstances over my entire lifetime. (how's that for a broad statement?) i'm still mulling over it and its ramifications, so i'm not ready to share it with the world just yet...

it's exciting to finally figure some of this stuff out, but it still bogs me down with shame and regret. i'm not sure what to do about changing the mindset behind this behavior, so it's really daunting as well.