In case you still have some holiday pig-out sessions left, I bring you some holiday eating tips. This floated around at work in between our three Christmas potlucks...

• Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
  
  
• Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
  
  
• If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
  
  
• As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
  
  
• Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
  
  
• Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
  
  
• If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
  
  
• Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
  
  
• Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
  
  
• One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
  

Name that tune!

The following floated around at work and we thourougly enjoyed working through it! We got stuck on a few songs, but Google helped us out after 10 minutes of scratching our heads. Enjoy!

1. Diminutive masculine master of skin-covered percussionist cylinders.

2. Move hitherward the entire assembly of those who are loyal in their belief.

3. K.O. the corridors / Embellish the interior passageways.

4. An emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good given to the terrestrial sphere.

  Or...Detergent in the galaxy

5. Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness. Zero-decibel darkness.

6. Listen, foretelling spirits harmonize

7. Seraphim we aurally detected in the stratosphere.

8. I apprehended my maternal parent osculating with a corpulent unshaven male.

9. What offspring abides thus?

10. The thing manifested itself at the onset of a transparent day.

11. The primary carol. The Christmas preceding all others.

12. Tranquility upon the giant blueberry.

13. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounts of minute crystals.

14. Omnipotent supreme being who elicits respite to ecstatic distinguished males.

15. Expectation of arrival to populated area by mythical, masculine gift giver.

16. Natal celebration devoid of color, rather albino, as a hallucinatory phenomenon for me.

17. In awe of the nocturnal time span characterized by religiosity. No Swiss-cheese moontime.

18. trunk legumes cooking on a Coleman.

19. Geographic state of fantasy during the season of mother nature’s dormancy.

20. The first person nominative plural of a triumvirate of far eastern heads of state.

21. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulum in inverted, metallic, resonant cups.

22. In a distant location the existence of an improvised unit of newborn children’s slumber furniture.

23. Proceed forth declaring upon a specific geological alpine formation.

24. Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular or plural by us.

25. Bridging the gap and tunneling the trees

26. A minuscule metropolis of steel.

The weather is perfect. There is about four inches of snow on the ground, zero wind, and a it's a brisk 10 degrees. The trees are happy because they're not weighed down with ice. And because my street isn't cleared, I have fun sliding around when I come and go!

I love winter!