In honor of the Red and White Game tomorrow (the Husker football pre-season scrimmage), I'm posting an email a co-worker sent me. This year begins a new chapter for Husker Nation with new head coach Bo Pelini at the helm! Go Huskers!!
Game Summaries for Next Year:
San Jose State -W- 77-0 Joe Ganz intercepts his own pass for a TD.
New Mexico State -W- 56-3 Bo Pelini pulls starters with 1:13 left in game for allowing first points of season.
Virginia Tech -W- 35-31 Bo Pelini tackles VT kick returner running down sideline to save the game for NU. Bo Pelini fined $10,000 by NCAA and must sit out 2 game suspension.
W. Michigan -W- 88-0 Tom Osborne reinstated as interim coach until Pelini comes off suspension.
Missouri -W- 42-7 Chase Daniel has 4 picks, (2 int, 2 nose) the second interception returned by a player with the name Bolini written by a Sharpie on the back of a plain white t-shirt. Bo Pelini was unable to be reached for comment after the game due to his suspension from coaching duties.
Texas Tech -W- 70-10 Bo instructs the defense to allow TT to score 10 points in the final minute to avenge 2004 game.
Iowa State -W- 93-0 Bo asks T.O. if he has the power to kick ISU out of the Big 12.
Baylor -W- 4-0 In preparation for next week's game against Oklahoma , Bo gives the offense the week off and enlists NU band to take the field. ESPN runs human interest story on the day. Defense holds Baylor to -56 yards with two safeties.
Oklahoma -W- 28-27 Bo sends busload of NU sorority girls to Oklahoma's hotel. When asked by ESPN to comment on the move by Pelini, Bob Stoops admits it was a good coaching move, and that he honestly should have thought of it first.
Kansas -W- 51-10 During half-time, Pelini tells his players "I'm thinkin' National Championship." Mangino tells him: "I'm thinkin' Arby's"
Kansas State -W- 70-3 After the game Pelini rushes to the other sideline and yells at Prince for allowing him to run up the score.
Colorado -W- 69-14 Pelini has each player go over to the Colorado sideline and tell Hawkins that bowl cuts are out of style. Coach Hawkins goes to the locker room to cry it out and his son stays to console him most of the game.
Texas- Big 12 Championship -W- 34-21 Pelini sneaks into Bevo's stable and cuts out major organs, feeding them to his defensive players. PETA bans Pelini from the state of Texas.
Florida - National Championship Game -W- 45-17 In his half-time speech, Bo tells a story from his childhood, how an alligator killed his father and ran off with his mother and all he ever wanted was revenge. The Huskers respond by scoring 45 unanswered points.
The Legend of BO PELINI!
Bo Pelini doesn't read offenses. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Bo Pelini.
Bo Pelini once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
Bo Pelini could kill Chuck Norris nine different ways with his headset and four different ways with his play chart.
Bo Pelini sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Bo.
Superman wears Bo Pelini pajamas to bed.
Bo Pelini didn't hang the moon. He stared down an asteroid and it stopped in it's tracks.
Bo Pelini's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Bo Pelini.
Bo Pelini was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Bo Pelini doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow.
Bo Pelini used to beat the sh1t out of his shadow because it was following him to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
They say that Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Bo Pelini laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Bo Pelini's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Bo Pelini will not take shit from anyone.
Bo Pelini's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick butt."
Game Summaries for Next Year:
San Jose State -W- 77-0 Joe Ganz intercepts his own pass for a TD.
New Mexico State -W- 56-3 Bo Pelini pulls starters with 1:13 left in game for allowing first points of season.
Virginia Tech -W- 35-31 Bo Pelini tackles VT kick returner running down sideline to save the game for NU. Bo Pelini fined $10,000 by NCAA and must sit out 2 game suspension.
W. Michigan -W- 88-0 Tom Osborne reinstated as interim coach until Pelini comes off suspension.
Missouri -W- 42-7 Chase Daniel has 4 picks, (2 int, 2 nose) the second interception returned by a player with the name Bolini written by a Sharpie on the back of a plain white t-shirt. Bo Pelini was unable to be reached for comment after the game due to his suspension from coaching duties.
Texas Tech -W- 70-10 Bo instructs the defense to allow TT to score 10 points in the final minute to avenge 2004 game.
Iowa State -W- 93-0 Bo asks T.O. if he has the power to kick ISU out of the Big 12.
Baylor -W- 4-0 In preparation for next week's game against Oklahoma , Bo gives the offense the week off and enlists NU band to take the field. ESPN runs human interest story on the day. Defense holds Baylor to -56 yards with two safeties.
Oklahoma -W- 28-27 Bo sends busload of NU sorority girls to Oklahoma's hotel. When asked by ESPN to comment on the move by Pelini, Bob Stoops admits it was a good coaching move, and that he honestly should have thought of it first.
Kansas -W- 51-10 During half-time, Pelini tells his players "I'm thinkin' National Championship." Mangino tells him: "I'm thinkin' Arby's"
Kansas State -W- 70-3 After the game Pelini rushes to the other sideline and yells at Prince for allowing him to run up the score.
Colorado -W- 69-14 Pelini has each player go over to the Colorado sideline and tell Hawkins that bowl cuts are out of style. Coach Hawkins goes to the locker room to cry it out and his son stays to console him most of the game.
Texas- Big 12 Championship -W- 34-21 Pelini sneaks into Bevo's stable and cuts out major organs, feeding them to his defensive players. PETA bans Pelini from the state of Texas.
Florida - National Championship Game -W- 45-17 In his half-time speech, Bo tells a story from his childhood, how an alligator killed his father and ran off with his mother and all he ever wanted was revenge. The Huskers respond by scoring 45 unanswered points.
The Legend of BO PELINI!
Bo Pelini doesn't read offenses. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Bo Pelini.
Bo Pelini once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
Bo Pelini could kill Chuck Norris nine different ways with his headset and four different ways with his play chart.
Bo Pelini sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Bo.
Superman wears Bo Pelini pajamas to bed.
Bo Pelini didn't hang the moon. He stared down an asteroid and it stopped in it's tracks.
Bo Pelini's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Bo Pelini.
Bo Pelini was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Bo Pelini doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow.
Bo Pelini used to beat the sh1t out of his shadow because it was following him to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
They say that Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Bo Pelini laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Bo Pelini's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Bo Pelini will not take shit from anyone.
Bo Pelini's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick butt."
posted by zippy @ 5:22 PM
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