nope, i'm not excited to ski at all...



11 days till we're on the slopes!!!!

"you never knew your dad, did you?"
"no."
"that's too bad."
"i don't let it bother me."
"it bothers him."

i heard this on tv during the week and it has been nagging me ever since. more on that once i'm able to put the thoughts into words...

"The machine's A-C adapter would double as a carrying strap, and a hand crank would power them when there's no electricity. They'd be foldable into more positions than traditional notebook PCs, and carried like slim lunchboxes."

MIT is unvailing a $100 laptop. how cool is that??

duuuuuuuuude!!

i hung out with a girl from work on sunday and we had a blast. we watched two movies and still managed to talk quite a bit. we're planning to hang out at least every week, which is waaay cool. and...duh duh duh...she found out that i love to downhill ski. so i invited her to come along when i go for a weekend with Becky in 3 weeks.

sunday was the first time i had hung out with someone other than my sister and her college friends (i'm incredibly thankful that i have her, but it's just not the same as hanging around with people who are where i'm at in life). so, yeah, it was a really good weekend.

i also went to a hockey game on friday and will go to another one tomorrow night with another girl from work. we get along really well and can waste lots of time talking about non-work stuff when we should be working. but she is the type of person who has tons of acquantences -- as far as i can tell, her only good friend is her boyfriend (and as soon as one relationship ends, another begins). so she's a blast to go to games with and hang out every once-in-a-while, but not someone who i'll be good friends with.

these are the only other two people i know in town who are between college-age and 35. the only problem i've found with kearney is that the only place to meet people are in bars. so the only people i know at all close to my age are these two girls at the courthouse...


"and now for something completely different"... tonight at walmart, i realized i've never seen anyone there that i know (except for the time i met my sister there). not a minute later, i heard a "hey jennifer" from a lady who works at the courthouse. (i need to train them to call me jen at least, but its tough to teach these older folks to not call someone by their full name.)

another thought i had while at walmart... this one absolutely terrified me for a few seconds. what if when i finally work on my budget, i realize i can't afford to ski as much as i'm planning on this winter? then i decided to either not work on my budget until after ski season or use all of my christmas money to support my winter needs. :)

wow...

...did i learn alot today. about a girl i hung out with this afternoon. about how her experiences can help me with stuff i'm dealing with. about communication. about how i learn. about how i operate. and, most comforting, about how to approach this "thing" i'm about to reconcile in my life.

onto a different subject... i caught the very end of game 2 of the world series. bottom of the 9th. 1 out. tied at 6. bases empty. the white sox's scott podsednik was up to bat. he was 0 for 4 during the game and didn't hit a homer during the season (though he had one against the red sox in the playoffs). the commentator had just said that he doubted podsednik was mentally in the world series and doubted manager ozzie guillen's decision to keep him in the game. what an unlikely hero. but he hit the game-winning home run. congrates to the white sox!

especially for my suite at LU :)

i've been meaning to post this for awhile...

the ups man that delivers to the courthouse has a beautiful mullet. well, i need to rephrase. if any mullet can be considered beautiful, this would be it. it's mostly brown, but is dyed blond a few inches between his ears and the end of his hair.

i spent two days last week at the nebraska association of county officials (NACO) conference in omaha. on the first day, the governor spoke as well as president bush's liaison for local officials (that was the just of his title anyways), both of which were really interesting. after that, there was a welcome put on by naco's board of directors. i wasn't sure how easy it would be to find food for supper, so i loaded up on fruit, chips, and salsa. as i was finishing, my boss reminded me of the steak dinner we were going to right after the welcome. apparently caterpillar pays for a dinner for each member of a county board and their spouses at a nearby steakhouse. so my boss and another board member took me and another girl to the dinner (their significant others' weren't at the conference). it was loads of fun! the other board member works at the local university in some sort of administrative role, so she had plenty of stories. and my boss has a million stories as well. he is a county board member, an advisor to nebraska's governor, is on some board associated with harvard university, is on naco's board, is on the national association of county officials board, and probably many more that i don't know about. and he also owns an isp. so he had plenty of stories to share as well!

the next day i attended a few really good sessions for the board members and the election commissioners, which were really fascinating! the company that the state of nebraska contracts with to help with elections gave a presentation on a new product they are selling the counties. it makes it possible for a blind person to vote completely confidentially. really cool stuff!

it was really refreshing to take a step back and remember what i am a part of at the courthouse. it's so easy to get caught up in the little issues and projects i have on my plate that i had lost sight of what my job is all about.

sadly, what i'll remember more than all of these good times is how much of a hold alcohol has on our society. it's one thing to hear some random person talk about the parties they go to, etc, but i was hearing this from those we expect to run our government.* these are our leaders! i couldn't believe how many times i heard our elected officials mention that they couldn't wait for the day's scheduled activities to conclude so they could go drink. several of the vendors had hospitality rooms at the conference. i'm not sure what most of these consisted of, but caterpillar's (the same company that paid for our dinner) was by far the most popular because they offered free alcohol. i went in there the 2nd afternoon because i needed caffeine (they also offered free pop) and there were a few people who looked like they had been drinking for hours. it was so sad.


*note: i have the utmost respect for all but a few of the people i work with. most of them are really good at their jobs, though there are always exceptions. please don't assume i'm calling all elected officials drunks! :)

why is it that those who, by definition, are supposed to care the most about me, constantly give me nothing but more hurt? i honestly don't know what i would do without my friends and the wonderful family who has taken me in as their own...


And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

...
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

  --Simple Plan, Untitled

NE weather and the huskers

last week we had frost...the beginning of this week was in the 90's...yesterday there was a thunderstorm...we've been in a frost advisory all day and will be until tomorrow morning. i don't mind the variety, but my sinuses do. i've finally admited that i have allergies. last year i always blamed it on lack of sleep, but i'm getting more sleep now (now quite enough, but definitely more) and i often feel the same...

and now for some husker bragging... we're the only big 12 team that is undefeated. we have the #1 defense in the nation (the least points scored against them) and are in the nation's top 10 in three other defensive categories. the blackshirts are back baby!! until this week, the defense had scored more touchdowns than the offense...crazy stuff. the blackshirts entered the game with a nation-leading 20 sacks on the season (we now have 26). the offense actually did well last game...twas kinda weird. Zac Taylor (our qb) set a school record for passing yards, which doesn't take a whole lot for nebraska, but is still way cool. records were also set for qb passing receptions, passing attempts (tie), receptions by a running back (Cory Ross), receiving yardage by a running back (Ross), touchdown receptions by a running back (tie with Ahman Green), and the ever growing 272nd consecutive sellout at memorial stadium.

weird occurrence #3 of 3, etc

(Heather, this is for you :) )

a year or two ago, i was chatting with one of my hesston friends about who we kept in touch with from there. she mentioned a chick named Melissa, which was someone i had lost contact with. i added her to my msn list and we have left messages every few weeks or so for each other. last weekend, we finally caught each other and chatted for awhile. she is doing vs in colombia, so we talked about that for awhile. the conversation veered towards how she raises support to meet her expenses, so i asked for that info. i did a double-take when i saw her last name. after a yr or two of messages and a few short chats, i found out i had been talking to a different Melissa than i had assumed. don't get me wrong, i'm glad we've kept in touch, but i totally thought i had been chatting with someone else all along.


re: weird occurrence #2 -- i finally plugged in the tv i found and the colors are all messed up. the screen is green with red in the corners. guess it really was to good to be true...


we're in the midst of a beautiful storm right now. plenty of wind, rain, lightning, thunder, and the occasional hail stone. (the rain was inevitable because i washed my car this weekend...and forgot to reapply rainx) to the west and south of my duplex there's a little outdoors museum and they're doing some dirt work in there. even though we're in the middle of a good storm, there's a guy out there moving dirt with a little bobcat. it has a little windshield wiper, but i seriously doubt he can see what he's doing.