these quotes brought to you by profQuotes (i found the link on ardith's blog):

"I believe Bill Gates once proudly stated they do not use a programming metholodgy at Microsoft ... and it shows."
~Professor Larry Paulson, Software Engineering II, Cambridge University, Cambridge, UK

"As everyon knows, the faculty's main objective is to keep everyone pissed off."
~Professor Craig Chase, Programming in C, University of Texas, Austin, TX

"Ninety percent of everything is crap!"
~Doug Rogers, COM 260/460 - Film Genre: Teen Films, Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, Kentucky (discussing modern cinema the first day of class.)

Professor writes on board: "The limit as GPA approaches zero, is CompSci = Business Major. If you understand this, you should stay here. If you don't, you should go, and sign up for some business classes."
~Calculus 102, Lowell University, Lowell, MA

"A young man of so much potential; it's like all voltage and no current."
~Donald R. Sadoway, 3.091 - Introduction to Solid-State Chemistry, MIT, Cambridge, MA

"A mind is like a parachute: it only works when it's open. As for how much time you'll be expected to devote to this course, I can only give you this experience whilch worked well for me when I was a student: 'you only have to think about this course on those days you eat.'"
~Professor George Levesque, History of American Slavery, SUNY/Albany, Albany, NY (responses to student questions as we looked over the 15 page syllabus for the course)

"This isn't the right answer, but I'm sure I just missed a sign change somewhere. You can figure it out when you go over your notes."
~Communications Theory, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana (Professor's comment after spending 45 minutes covering two big whiteboards with a detailed derivation. And it happened several times.)

"Untyped languages such as Lisp make it hard to achieve reliability. Assembly language makes it hard to achieve anything."
~Professor Larry Paulson, Software Engineering II, Cambridge University, Cambridge, UK