if i fall along the way
pick me up and dust me off
and if i get too tired to make it
be my breath so i can walk

if i need some other love
give me more than i can stand
and when my smile gets old and faded
wait around i'll smile again

shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me and then
just hold me again

can you help me i'm bent
i'm so scared that i'll never get put back together
you're breaking me in

  --matchbox 20

-left apartment this morning at 7.55
-arrive at warehouse at 8.10
-get the key to the roof from the office
-take a golf cart to the stairwell that goes to the roof (i would estimate the drive to be ~350 paces)
-44 stairs up to the roof
-157 paces
-9 steps up on a ladder
-64 paces
-5 stairs up
-16 paces
-14 stairs down
-31 paces
-6 stairs up
-12 paces
-23 stairs up (but if they were any steeper, they would be a ladder)
-79 paces
-remove 8 screws
-push a button once
-push it again
-go back down to the office and return the key
-leave warehouse at 8.44
-arrive at my apartment at 9.02

my boss and i installed some wireless gear on a roof at a warehouse this week. (dana longview ships frames and parts to this location to store before they go to GM.) somehow every morning, the power is lost at the fiber-ethernet converter (i'm pretty sure that's what it is anyways) that is connected to the antannaes. so every morning one of us goes to the warehouse and resets it. i don't mind it at all - it definitely makes the day go faster to have an hour of paid time away from the plant. but hopefully this week, we'll come up with a better solution...

she thinks i think of God as only a bit greater than dad...
she think i am not ready to think of Him as much more than that right now (while readily admitting that it's only her opinion)...
she assures me that God will only take what i give Him. He won't fight me for more than i offer. so i have the control - what an nteresting concept... i wish He would take more than i offer because i'm scared that i won't be able to give enough to Him. i wish He would just grab me and shake me to my senses!

i think she's right...i can't give Him much more than nothing right now...

mom wants me to think about trading in my car. :-\ in the last month i've spent ~$1150 on her, which is more than she's worth (well, worth monetarily anyway). i've always planned on driving her until she dies, but by the looks of the last month that death doesn't seem so far off. if someone would just run into me and total her, the decision would be so much easier! any takers? :) or if i would be totalled as well, the decision wouldn't even need to be made!

so i played musical cars last week because she was in the shop again. i was so happy to drive her when i got her back on friday! i'm trying not to expect that she's fixed for good this time, because i've been disappointed twice this month with that. i guess we'll see...

ok, so i've seriously neglected my blog for awhile now... a bunch has happened since i last wrote...where should i even start?

the week after finals i moved into my apt and started working full time. that friday (the 19th, i believe), i woke up with a bug bite on my right leg. after a few hours it had swelled to about 4 inches in diameter. at the advice of one of my apt-mates, i put cortosone cream on it in the evening. well, it wasn't any better the next day, so i went into the er to have it looked at. initially they thought it was an absess (which could have been caused by a bug or simply by an infected hair folicle), but the lab results showed it was a staff infection. they deadened the skin and dug out a hole over an inch deep. then the dr packed over 2 feet of medicated gauze into the hole and taped it up. fun stuff... they put me on an antibiotic and vicodin for the pain. 2 days later (on monday), i drove home, so i came off the vicodin and took a bunch of ibeprofin every few hrs at the suggestion of my er nurse. before leaving longview i noticed my heart was really racing. i stopped at a gas station and called the er to see what i should do. after about an hour and many phone calls, i finally got the go-ahead to keep driving and make sure my heart-rate didn't go above 110. (it had been fluctuating between 84 and 100.)

after an eventful 2 days, i finally arrived home and started my christmas shopping. i finished in 5 hrs! :-d

anyway...my 2 weeks home had its ups and definitely its downs. but i'm very thankful to be back in longview! work has been going well and i've been having a blast with my apt-mates!!