"Things do not change; we change." --Henry David Thoreau, Walden

it's been a unique summer as far as how i've done with keeping in touch with friends. i've gotten to know 3 people much better. ironically (or maybe not so much), only one of them is here on campus...email and im can go a long way. :) my "new" friends each have the wonderful gift of encouragement and, when the time is right, they can definitely make me laugh. i can't wait to spend time with these individuals when school starts up again!

but i've also lost track of some of my friends...even some of my really good ones. i can name a few reasons why i haven't kept in touch and i can give some for why they haven't as well. maybe the main reason though, is that i've changed this summer. i don't know how exactly, but i've definitely had things on my mind the last few months that i haven't had before. my perspective has significantly changed - on life, non-christians, christians, God, letourneau, family, my past, etc, etc.

another useless fact has been learned...

i read this today:

"The car that became the VW Beetle originally was conceived by Hitler while he was imprisoned in 1924 after an attempted coup. He conceived of an inexpensive car that typical German families could buy. They could be driven along the sweeping highways that Hitler wanted to build across Germany."

you know that in love we can forgive
it is the only way to live
obey God and see that we can live in harmony
since God has forgiven us it's true
you forgive me, i'll forgive you
i'm gonna start to show forgiveness from my heart
  --veggietunes, "the forgiveness song"

there's this person i really need to forgive... i've needed to ever since i can remember. but it wasn't until last year that i realized i had to forgive him or else i would turn into a very bitter person. he has always given my family alot of crap, even going to the extent to say that he is trying to make mom's life as miserable as possible (which he has done a good job of). it seems like every time i get close to being able to forgive him, i hear about more crap that he's done and spiral back into the anger and bitterness.

for the last few weeks, i've been bombarded with stuff about forgiveness -- from sermons to songs i've heard on the radio to conversations with people who have no idea i'm dealing with this. i've always felt like i don't know how to even begin the process, but after all i've heard about it lately i feel i'm more prepared. last weekend i was driving home from a wonderful weekend at becky's and the majority of the songs i heard reverted my thoughts back to the issue of forgiveness. i got so tired of it that i popped in a veggietales cd for some lighter songs. but, loe and behold, "the forgiveness song" played. :-\ God finally convinced me to give in and i spent an exhausting hour beginning the process. i have a very long way to go, but i've finally started. and i finally feel that i somewhat know how to go about this, so that's been extremely conforting!

'tis my car's birthday today. it's technically not the day she was "born," but it was 5 years ago today that i bought her. she has treated me really well during this time. i have only replaced the struts, driver door skin (after a full-size van couldn't see her out of the rear-view), speakers, and an axle boot and added cruise and a cd player.

i realized last week how much i depend on her. i couldn't work at the job i do or have taken all of my weekend trips this summer (and all throughout college for that matter) without her. she has witnessed countless wonderful conversations that i've had with friends and listened to me vent to myself after a tough day.

in high school my friends would pile in and we'd drive around for hours every weekend. (this was usually the most exciting thing for us to do.) one saturday we decided to follow this one road until it ended. it was still light out when we reached it 1.5 hours later, so we decided to turn around and drive until we got to the other end. we finally gave up 3 or 4 hours later and drove back home. i'm lucky my car gets good gas mileage. :)

this summer i've realized how peaceful it is to drive her around aimlessly. i pick a road that i've always wondered where it ends up and start driving. it's amazing how much you can learn about a city this way.

if she ever got totalled, her passengers would most likely be totalled as well. so at least i don't have to worry about life without her! :) j/k...

yesterday a man woke after being in a coma since 1984. the article said he "still believes Ronald Reagan is the president." that got me thinking about how different the world is now. it reminded me of shawshank redemption when red gets out of prison and finds that the world has changed dramatically. anyways...back to this guy... i was thinking about all the things he has missed while being out of it for the last 19 years. (this is assuming he was completely out of it and wasn't aware of much around him)

~he has never heard of monica lewinsky

~he doesn't know about 9-11

~he doesn't know about our wars with iraq

~he has probably never used a computer

~he's never heard of the windows OS, or maybe even DOS, for that matter (DOS was introduced in 1980, but i have no idea how popular it was)

~he doesn't know what a dell is and most likely hasn't heard of bill gates even microsoft

~he's never heard of the internet

~he thinks the USSR exists

~he has never heard of timothy mcveigh

~he doesn't know about the columbine shootings or any of the other school shootings

to get an idea of what society / the world was like when he went into the coma, i did a bit of research (yes, i was really bored)
...ghostbusters, footloose, gremlins, and star trek III were some of the top movies
...apple macintosh was introduced
...the olympic games were held in sarajevo and LA
...AIDS was discovered

it's so cool that he came out of the coma, but he has alot of adjusting to do...

i've been humbled once again...

i was sitting here telling a friend that i wanted to work in the education world after i graduate, but how i would never want to work for letourneau. don't get me wrong, i told her, LU is a wonderful school that does many things right. but i, like many others, tend to focus on the things that the school does wrong. i'm always thinking to myself - "hesston college (where i attended before coming here) does this in a much better way. if LU did the same way, things would be much better." so i was telling my friend about a few of the reasons i would never want to work here (mostly based on here-say - i have never talked to the individuals about the way i hear the school is treating them). she replied with, "i know this school does alot of things wrong, but i believe in what LU is trying to do. i want to work here so i can make a difference. that, or i want to make alot of money in industry so i can donate plenty to the school, which would also make some things better. i know i can't fix it all, but i'm willing to try."

this sounds really cheesy in my written words, but it was very humbling to hear. here i am, comparing the faults of LU with the good things my last school did. all i do is complain about them. i don't think about the good things at all. but if i only tried, i could make a difference too. it might not be tangible, but i could definitely have a better attitude and support this school more than i do now.

my dream last night

a bunch of us from my fundamentals of engineering design class and my immediate family were working at dana corporation and given the task of creating some stations in the assembly line…with legos. we actually used some of the stuff we used from fundamentals class that we hadn’t taken apart yet. a few times we didn’t have the right parts, so we went back to the dorms to get more legos. it was really weird…

a forward i recently received

Pennies from Heaven

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc. This is the first time I've ever heard this twist on the story. Gives you something to think about.

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house. The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live.

The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts.

Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She causally mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see.

She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says."

She read the words "United States of America."

"No, not that; read further." "One cent?" "No, keep reading."

"In God we Trust?" "Yes!"

"And?"

"And I trust in God. The name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin, I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin but we never seem to notice it! If God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him, who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think of it as God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months. But then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient...

i've been interested / fascinated / amazed at some of the technology dana corporation (the plant i'm working at this summer) uses. aside from the computers, robots, and other machines on the plant floor, i've been fascinated at 2 simpler items.

1) access cards -- they're all white with 4 tiny dots on the right edge and 4 more along the top. they can be read up to ~9 inches from the scanners. some people put their cards in their wallets and hold them up. i even saw one guy put his extra-thick wallet in his shirt pocket and he just faced the scanner to get through. maybe this type of thing is common in companies now...i don't know. but even on movies they usually have to swipe their cards, so i'm thinking this is something pretty new.

2) doors -- a few of the doors that don't require access cards during the day (they are needed after 6.00, when the doors lock) have an eye on the ceiling that signals the door to unlock when someone is approaching from the outside. everytime i walk in from the outside i hear the door unlock as i come up to it. it's not loud enough to disturb anyone, but still noticable.

i've been enjoying some of the "normal" technology as well. :) on my desk sits a beautiful 17"-viewable flat panel monitor (a dell 1702fp) and a dell sx260 pc. it's dimensions are an incredible 9.72" x 3.35" x 9.53". it's specs are 2.00 ghz, 40 gig hard drive, and a measly 128 mb of ram...not the greatest, but still plenty for what i use it for. some of the apps run slow on it, but that's mostly because i'm used to 512 of ram.